There is nothing better...

Some friends at work were going to see a movie tonight, and although it was extremely nice of them to invite me along, I of course declined because I don't have a sitter for James.  For a little while at work I was thinking about how much I really loved going to the movies... just a simple life pleasure of mine but always one of my favorite things to do... and I got a little (ok, I have PMS right now... I got REALLY) bummed knowing that those days of just randomly going out to a movie are long over for quite a while.

But at the end of the day---extremely tired and ridden with a headache from yet another monotonous and uneventful day at work, just feeling like plain crap because I've had a sour day and knowing I wouldn't be able to go see a movie I wanted to see--- I drive to pick my boy up from school and as soon as I open the door to his classroom, he spots me from across the room and greets me with a smile.  He has no idea that earlier today during my lunch break I came by to see how his day was going and to play for a few minutes, but he was taking a nap.  He's just genuinely happy to see me.  And his smile doesn't leave his face until he's in my arms and out the door.

And when we get home to our uber messy house that needs to be desperately clean, with orange spit up stained on my shirt from when he burped on me outside, and regardless of the fact that I'm exhausted, worn out, starving--- I get him comfortable, let him relax while I take the dogs out to pee, then I give him a nice warm bubble bath and massage him extra longer this time than I normally do (even rub his little temples).  I then fix his dinner and feed it to him, then we play and read our bedtime story, just like we do every night.  Then--- at this point I'm beyond exhausted--- tuck him in bed and sing him goodnight, and before he closes his eyes to go to sleep, he looks at me and smiles.

And I realized that there is no movie that could ever be better than the way I just spent my evening. :)

(James in his jammies reading his night night book)

What a week....

Friday:  Me and James are both sick
Sat-Sun:  same stuff, think we are getting a bit better, still feeling like crap
Monday:  we decided to stay home since Daddy flew out early that morning and we were still feeling a bit poopy.
Tuesday:  felt ok, James went to school and I went to work.
Wednesday: woke up with a vomiting and excruiating migraine (I've been lucky and hadn't had one in a while, this took me by surprise).  James thankfully is in a good mood and feeling ok so I took the pain killers the doc gave me for the migraine.  Tried to go to work during lunch, dropped James off at school, but was so drugged up at work I felt sick to my stomach so I went home two hours later.  Went to sleep that night with a throbbing head...
Thursday:  Thank GOD, we both felt pretty good and James went to school and I went to work.  We are both still congested from our cold last weekend but nothing that would keep us away.
Friday:  James wakes up at 0330 screaming (not like him) because he can't breathe he's so congested.  I spend about 2-3 hours lying in the bathroom with the hot shower on to get some steam to heal his congestion.  This is the only time he has slept and wakes up crying whenever I try to move out of the bathroom.  Called in at work saying i'm going to be late, I was super tired.. he ate some brekky and finally went back to sleep for an hour.  I get ready for work, thinking he'll be good... he woke up crying and i gave him some oatmeal and fruit, and he didn't want to finish eating and the screaming fits start up again and i check his temperature and its over 100 degrees!  Gave the poor boy some Tylenol, sang and rocked him to sleep, and now... finally... he is getting good rest.  But had to call work and tell them I wasn't coming in today.

And to top it off?  I'm home alone... Jacob is gone for 2 weeks.  I'm feeling so down in the dumps... its been a really rough week and i've exhausted all of my sick leave, haven't really gotten a single thing at work done this week, i'm so worried that my performance is dropping since I've gone back to work.  I love working, its made me much happier since I started back... but I didn't realize how much of a toll James would take on my time and me working full time.  If its not his doctors appointments or his physical therapy or his babysitter bailing on me on moments notice or him getting sick and needing to stay home, or getting his shots updated... i've got medical issues that I need taken care of too, and errands like spending my morning at the DMV to get my car registered and getting passport for James, my parents are divorcing and my family is falling apart so that is on the back of my mind most of the time.... i'm just worn out.  I have been struggling with my medication doseages after the pregnancy, trying to get my ADD and post partum depression under control.  PPD has improved greatly since going back to work, but with all this going on with my family back in SC it's taken a toll on me.  Some days when I take the ADD meds I am really good and calm and really productive at work, and others when I dont take it because I want to eat that day or I forget to take it, I'm overly hyperactive and never get anything done and I'm so afraid my boss and coworkers notice.  I'm late to work nearly EVERY day because its so hard getting everything together in the mornings, by the time I get myself ready, walk the dogs, feed James, get him ready, get him to the car, drive 20 min to work, take him into school... its freaking 8:30-9:00... when I should have been to work at 7:30!!  I come to work hungry, with wrinkled clothes on, unwashed hair and no makeup... usually eat snack cakes and have a coke for breakfast how healthy and professional is that!?  I usually skip lunch since I came in late, then pick up James and by the time we get through traffic on the way home, its 5:30-6:00, i'm tired, I feed and bathe him, spend a few waking moments with him, and I crash.  Jacob fixes dinner that I'm usually too tired to eat, I never get a chance to work out and exercise because i'm too rushed in the morning and too exhausted in the evenings... this isn't how i pictured it!!!

UGH, i just needed a vent.  I'm worn out and so exhuasted over working full time and parenting full time... I just want to be able to balance them both.  I feel I'm doing a good job with James, but I feel my work is slacking tremendously, and it sucks because I want nothing more than to be there and giving 100% everyday because I enjoy it, but it seems like whenever I go to bed the night before with a plan on making tomorrow work smoothly, it never does.

I was going to take my computer home and work this weekend, but I think I'm going to relax and get myself together and recover from this GODAWFUL week.  Maybe schedule an appointment with my therapist to talk about balance in everything... I want to be 100% wife, 100% mommy, 100% employee (gah, I haven't even had time for friends lately, i'd like to dedicate a percentage to that too)... I'm not sure how I can sanely go about doing it all and doing it all well and being happy.

Poo.... i just needed to vent.  i'm sleep deprived and stressed.  James just woke up so I need to tend to him.  I'm glad I was able to blog for a little bit and get some stuff off my chest!!

Nobody wants to pway wif me......

So, Jacob is gone for two weeks and with baby in bed by 7pm,  I'm completely bored!  So I love browsing ebay and blogs and etsy and forums already when there's nothing to do to see what I can find (eh, such a cheap and easy way to keep me entertained for hours!), but a friend of mine introduced me to island ads in guam.  I needed to put some stuff up for sale anyway, but I got to browsing all of the ads while watching America's Next Top Model tonight, so I thought I'd share a few that stood out to me!  ENJOY!

For Sale:
Make offer to buy burial plot worth $4,500. Ask for Diana


I have two and don't need this one. Selling it for $10 FIRM. Contact seller. Thank-you! (This is in reference to a plastic toddler training potty... gross... and the price is FIRM, go figure!)


CALL ME IF INTERESTED THANKS FOR VIEWING MY ADD PRICE LOWERED GRAPHIC CARD FOR THOSE WHO ARE COMPUTER FREAKS LIKES TO DESIGN PICTURES CAN US THIS GRAPHIC CARD NOW 40.00 EACH


brand new amplifier never been used i mean never i got it for $250 but im gonna let it go for $150 its a 300 watt blue and silver pyramid for you car has the input and output its for like both u can use a sub or just regular speakers it gots the controls and stuff so just call me at ***-**** just ask for boomer


heels: $10 for both


Each book in great condition with colorful illustrations. Buy each for 5 dollars or all three for only 12 dollars. Great reading if you are a history buff. Each book is 1972 but they are history books about things that happen hundreds of years ago and not in 1972.


I have 12x Bottles of Brand New Hand Sanitizer - each bottle is 8 oz! $3.50/bottle


Wanted:
Do you know how to play Metallica? If so, please call ***-**** and let's get together!


I'm looking for anyone who can jailbreak my iPhone 3G 3.1.3 firmware 05.12.01...I'm really not good at doing it myself and I was hoping if anyone out there can. I'm willing to pay once my iPhone is JAILBROKEN. So please if anyone that can help contact me at ***-****.


Between the age of 25 and 45 in good fair shape and looks, Must have a car and job or money.honest and dependible,kids are ok.


i am looking for a baby moon rim cover because i used to have a set but i lost one in the road so please i need one rim cover.

Another vacation, coming up!

I am going to a GIS training at Naval Base Yokosuka, Japan in a couple weeks, and Jacob and James are going to meet me at the end of my training and we are going to spend a long weekend in Tokyo!  The boys booked their flights and we are going to stay in a suite at the Hilton Tokyo in Shinjuku.  I am SO excited.  I hope we get to see everything we wanted to see, Tokyo is extremely expensive and we will probably use to travel in the more budget friendly Asian countries in the future.  Since we both travel a lot with our work, and its so expensive to fly off the island, Jacob and I try to make the most when one of us goes TDY to a cool location.  My coworkers are trying to teach me the bare minimum Japanese, so I'm very grateful for that!  I seriously cannot WAIT to take pictures pictures pictures there!

John

There's nothing like seeing quintessential Guam at its finest.  In the midst of a completely technological and modern world, it's rare for most of us to see people going back to their original roots.  Not in Guam.  Many of the older locals embrace the simpler era thats long gone, and I'm lucky when I get a photo op of it.

This is John, he lives in Asan and we pass him walking his carabao, Cindy along Marine Corps Drive at least once a week.  He used to walk his goat with her but he said about a year ago someone stole him.  You now see him with his dog but here recently, his dog likes to ride on top of Cindy as they walk along Rt. 1.  I've passed them three times and never had my camera with me, so this entire week I've taken my camera bag to work with me just in hopes of being able to pull over and take a couple shots of them.  Today on my way home, I got lucky!  They were nice enough to pose, and John was a real sport and even took a picture of me with his friends.  He asked if I had any kids in the back of my car because he gives them free carabao rides... maybe next year James!

         

                   

Watch out Masters...

I think James will like to golf just like his daddy!

311 Concert

Finally a good band came to Guam a few weeks ago.  We didn't have a babysitter, and the concert was outdoors, so we took James anyway.  We took our beach tent and parked in the back so it wouldn't be too loud.  I don't think it would have mattered, he slept right through it all!!  We had a good time, and its nice knowing that our little man is very chill and relax

(I had to get him a cute beanie to wear to the concert!)  He completed the outfit with a red onesie and quicksilver sandals.

(dont tell me my kid is a light sleeper... it was loud, and he's passed out as soon as the band came on until the end of the show!!)

He likes to eat

These were taken awhile back... he's a little less messy nowadays... but so cute and had to share.  he's eating sweet potatoes in these...

new ones of the little guy!

I have recently been on a spending spree for lenses... i've bought used so I am able to justify the cost, however its been like Christmas around here for me!  I've purchased a nikon 70-300mm vr, 20mm 2.8, 85mm 1.8, 50mm 1.8, and a Sigma 12-24mm.  So excited!  So of course, I'll post some of James that I took using my 50mm and my 85mm... LOVE these two lenses!!

James is getting so big... we went in for his 6 month checkup and the doctor said his muscle development may be delayed because he's not doing some of the things he "should" be doing.  We got blood work done and are waiting back for the results.  In the meantime, two therapists from EDIS are evaluating him and providing therapy until they determine what's going on.  He's doing great on his tummy, he is rolling over from tummy to back, back to tummy.   He does this superman thing where he spreads his arms out and feet and looks like he's flying.  He is sitting up with some support.  He's eating like a champ... he's having fun exploring the new world around him!

(this is his superman pose... he loves it!)

I'm back...

Updating is going to be harder than I thought... so much has been going on in our lives in the past couple months, and even more recently in the past few weeks.  Despite unfortunate family situations back in the U.S, and hustling to find new childcare at the last minute, I think my life is finally back on track and I'm hoping to start keeping this blog current.

First... James!  I know everyone wants an update on him.  He will be 6 months old next week, and he is growing like a weed!  He is so much fun to be around and I love every moment I get to spend with him.  He is doing well on his tummy and is rolling over.  He just started eating at his high chair and snacking on baby cereals and bananas.  He is currently going to Ms. Theresa's house everyday while I am at work. She is another CDH provider and he is doing excellent!  She is such a nice lady and James adores her!  Although she told us yesterday that her husband is getting deployed and that she is moving, we are happy to have been able to know her and happy that she was able to care for James, even though it was for a short time.  James will be starting group daycare at the Navy CDC on April 5th, and we are very happy about that.  I'm so glad he will be able to start interacting with other babies his own age and learning and developing his little talents and abilities while we are at work everyday.  James is laughing, cooing (saying ga-ga-ga-ga, da-da-da-da-, and other bird calling sounds!)  He sleeps through the night every night (usually I have to wake him up in the morning) and is rarely fussy.  I couldn't have asked for a better baby!!  So much fun!

As for me, I am back to work full time.  I am really enjoying it.  I recently had a week long Advanced Master Planning course with the Army Corps of Engineers and learned so much from it.  I will be headed to Yokosuka, Japan in May to attend a ESRI sponsored GIS course, and my supervisor is letting me extend my stay in Japan to do a career rotation at NAVFAC Far East!!  I am so excited!  I'm not sure how long I will stay (not sure how long I can part from James) but the opportunity to be involved with some of the master planning in Japan and Korea will be amazing!  James will have his passport by then, so hopefully Jacob and James will come and visit me on the weekends, its only a 3 hour flight.  I have found some great graduate courses via Northern Arizona University's distance program that I would like to attend, so I plan to work on those.  Managing my ADHD has been somewhat challenging since I've started work but hopefully I can get the medication dosage correct again (my body changed so much after James!)  Photography is going well, wish I had more time to dedicate to it but its just a hobby so whenever I can!

Jacob is doing great as well.  He has submitted his OCS package and is just waiting to hear back, probably this summer.  He has really gotten into playing golf, pretty much what he spends the weekend doing!  Hopefully we will try and get scuba certified pretty soon!

Well, here's a couple of pictures of James!  Cheers!

Well, I survived...

... my first week of work as a career mommy!

Can I first start off by saying that I am amazed at how much time I wasted before I had a baby??  I can't believe that before I got pregnant I actually used to come to work and be tired and get the opportunity to come home and lounge around?!  What was I complaining about!!

My days now begin at 4:45 in the morning (i usually don't roll out of bed until 5 though).  I walk the dogs and then get myself ready and grab something to eat.  I wake James up at 6am, get him dressed and feed him, and then we are out the door by 6:45 so I can get to Amy's house by at least 7:15, and in my office by 7:30am.  Lunch is spent doing errands, and I get off work at 4:30, pick James up and get home around 5:00-5:30ish depending on traffic.  I give him a bath, and he gets an evening massage and bonding time after bath, then I feed him and we get to play until around 7:30pm when he gets tired for bed.  Then, I quickly scrounge up something for dinner or order out, make bottles for the next day, repack his diaper bag, get my clothes pressed and lunch made for work the next day... and finally get to sit down around 9:00 to relax.  I am usually in bed by 10:00 now so I won't be so tired the next day.  HOLY CRAP i used to have so much free time... those days are LONG gone!

I am actually surprised at how well I handled leaving him with the sitter, it was easy!  I broke down in the car on the 2nd day of dropping him off, but eased up on myself and told myself not to feel guilty.  I know he's in good hands and is having a nice day, and it makes me feel better that I am off doing my own thing at work and reclaiming some of my identity that got lost after having the baby.  I feel much more healthier, even after a week, because my days are spent so structured and productive.  I'm not very good at self motivation so when I was staying home with James it was very very hard to get a routine.  Now I'm forced in one and it makes me happy to have structure.

I was SOOO worried about whether or not I was making the right choice to go back to work or stay home with James, but I am so content with the choice I made!  I love working and I love my job... and I guess I felt guilty because I didn't know if that meant that I loved my job more than I love rearing my child... but I realized thats not the case.  I spend my days doing the job I love like I always did, the only difference now is that when I come home I have an entirely new role to play as a mother, and I love that just as much!!

I realized after staying home with James for 4 months, although nice and relaxing, ultimately made me lazy and crabby because I was cooped up and did not have a schedule and felt that the only thing I was all day was "mom."  Although I'm a mother now, I also have talents and knowledge that I enjoy pursuing and because I have a child that doesn't mean I should give those up.  I felt really really guilty at first, but I'm content with my decision now.  I hope it continues to go well from here!!

No pictures obviously, but it is a 3 day weekend and I'm behind 2 weeks of my Project 52, so hopefully I'll have some new pictures posted over the weekend!

For now, an lolcatz will have to suffice....  I thought this one was appropriate since I'm brining in my own paycheck now... Jacob doesn't have to worry about this pertaining to me anymore! :)

moar funny pictures

Already apologizing...

I've only had this blog for a week now and I'm already apologizing for not keeping it updated!  For the past week I've been plagued with migraines, even spent my entire Friday in the ER begging for drugs to get rid of what was possibly the worst headache I've ever experienced in my life.  I had James with me, and he didn't make a peep the entire time we were there.  He is truly an amazing little baby.  I have an appointment to talk to the doctor about them tomorrow, hopefully to find the cause and maybe get on some preventatives.  I've had migraines since I was a child... however I've noticed ever since I've given birth they have been more frequent and more intense.  I will do ANYTHING to not get them anymore, they are horrible.

So... with that being said... I do not have any photo updates or really anything to blog about.  I start back to work tomorrow... I've been on maternity leave since September 2009 (I had over a month of leave saved and the federal government offers employees 12 weeks of unpaid job protected leave... so I took every bit of it!).  I've got those first day of school jitters!  I'm nervous about starting back, I've never been out of work for this long.  James will be going to Amy's (a friend of ours and also a certified child development home provider) so I feel really great about his situation during the day... but it is very hard letting him go.  I've truly enjoyed the time I was able to spend at home with him... but I'm looking forward to going back to work and getting out of the house.

I'll give an update on how my first week of work went, along with the prognosis of my migraines.  Cheers to all!  I feel the need to post a photo, so hows about a lolcatz to bring in the start of a new work week!  I have a feeling this is going to be my mood come tomorrow morning:

moar funny pictures

addicted...

Ok, those last pictures of James turned out just too cute, so I needed to take more.  I'm addicted to seeing his little smile!!  He's almost grown out of this outfit, and he's never worn it... so I at least needed to take a picture of him in it before it's too late.  Still playing around with the settings on my camera and the available light in my house... I'm not having an easy time with focusing my lens or the color cast on his skin... post processing can only go so far.  I tried using a "reflector" today... it worked out nicely I think (not as much shadow as in my previous ones), considering I used my car window visors as my reflector... I just taped it to the chair James was sitting in!  Man, the things we think of when we're on a budget!! (but don't tell Jacob it worked out well, then I won't be able to justify going out and buying the real thing!) :)

Oh well, they aren't technically the most acceptable portraits... but I wanted to share these because I think he looks just so beautiful!  He must take after me.... (hahahahaha)

Thanks for lookin!

Srsly people????

My husband, God bless him, gives a car dealership back in South Carolina our real phone number instead of making up a bogus one!  He was doing this thing on USAA that finds the best deal on a certain make and model around a given zipcode.  I'm guessing it was required you list a telephone number... ok, thats fine... make one up!  Why?  Because those people are like vultures and will not stop calling until they get to speak to you about buying a car.  What's worse?  The idiot salesmen in South Carolina don't take into account that Guam is a different time zone!!  For the past 5 nights in a row we have been woken up by different numbers from the same area code, and they leave a message and John Smith from Honda in Easley would like to talk to us about our inquiry we submitted.  GRRR... next time give questionnaires like that a fake address/phone number... they say they don't solicit your number but they totally do!

moar funny pictures

{Project 52} 1/52

Ok, well it really should be Project 365 but let's face it, I'm going to set myself up for failure if I even attempt to take pictures every day.  As much as I would love to, I know I'm not going to have the time... so I'm doing what a lot of people on the Flickr and photography community are doing and starting a Project 52... you take pictures once a week for an entire year.  It's not only supposed to get you practicing but also to document the year and get you to try new techniques.  I hope I can learn a lot and keep it up.  So.... at least by every Sunday I will try to have a new picture up that I tried for my project that week.  For my first week, I used my favorite subject... James!  He's nearly 4 months old already!

I've been wanting to put together some portable studio equipment at home for the sole purpose of taking pictures of James... but after figuring out what lighting equipment I need and finding the lens I want to buy... I realized I need to go back to work first before I purchase them!  So today, I did things the poor man way... I opened the blinds and put a solid blanket over a chair and put James in it!  I'm so happy he smiled for me.  I think I needed to use a reflector to eliminate the shadows you see on the right side of his face... perhaps I'll try that next time!

Thanks for stopping by! :)

Parents never cease to amaze me....

Yes, I know I need to train my dogs.  BoBo (the miniature pinscher) is a complete ass and he's mean.  I know this.  He is a very fiesty little guy and very protective... its in his nature.  BoBo likes three people on this planet... me, Jake, and James.  He will learn to like others if they are in the house, but it will take time at first (ask Luke!)  Everyone else is a threat to him because he feels the need to guard us.

However, I still do not understand how you as a parent can let your child come up to a dog and want to play and touch it.  I'm trying to pull my dog back and telling your kid "no no" and you just stand there and smile because you think it's funny (for some strange reason) that a dog is choking itself on the leash because he's so pissed that a stranger is coming towards me.  Then my dog tries to take a snap at your kid for putting his hand near his face, your kid starts crying because he's scared, and then you give me the look of "go eat shit and die you monster" as you finally pull your kid away!  I'm shocked!!  I'm minding my own business lady, just walking my dogs and trying to get back upstairs to my apartment.  I'm sorry we have to be in passing, I even try and cross the road and wait for you to come outside the gate before I come in... yet for some reason you're an IDIOT and don't give a damn while your kid comes running up to pet my dogs!  How about when my dog actually bites your kid?  Now, I have to put my dog to sleep and I have a lawsuit over my head when if you were monitoring your child as I'm trying to control my animal this would have never happened?  (yes, i know at times many moms will say its almost the same... its not... dogs are dogs... children are human beings... dogs instinctively are protective and will guard... mothers and fathers should do the same with their young.)

I understand my dogs are small and cute, but that does NOT mean that they are approachable.  Please, teach your children to be wary of any animal, big or small, because you don't know the nature of this animal and it's better to be safe than sorry.  When I had my dobermans, they wouldn't hurt a fly, and everyone was frightened of them.  Now I have two small dogs, and everyone wants to pet them and they are very unfriendly dogs.  Living in this condo, I deal with this DAILY... and yes, its embarrassing that I can't take my dog on a walk without him wanting to bite someone that walks next to me and i'm working on it... but do me a favor and monitor your child and don't let him just run up to my dogs and want to play.  They DON'T want to play back!

I am responsible and keep my dog on a leash for safety reasons... dare I say put a leash on your chlid for the same???

Oh, and please, if we so happen to be on the elevator together, don't just stare at BoBo and smile and think its funny when he barks at you.  You moron, don't you know that animals HATE to be stared at straight in the eyes?  So you can imagine that its torture for this little beast to have some stranger in close proximity to his master and just staring.  Please, I'm asking nicely...stare at the celing or something... don't aggravate him anymore than he already has been.

In the meantime, I will work on training my dog....  ONLY if you work on training your kid....

Hope I didn't offend anyone with this rant... no wait... this is my blog and exactly why I wanted a blog... so I can say what I want without getting banned.  Sweet!!!  (no but seriously, my intention was to not offend anyone, only make everyone more aware!)

I told myself I wasn't going to be one of those moms...

I told myself lots of times that I wouldn't let James watch any of those stupid kids tv shows they have out now... and of course... I do it anyway because its so hot outside during the day and I've run out of things to do with a 4 month old who cannot sit up or talk yet.  So, with that being said... James just has to love the most retarded  show since Teletubbies......Yo Gabba Gabba on Nick Jr.  It comes on for one whole hour in the morning and its become a daily routine.  He loves it when DJ Lance Rocks says "Yoooo Gabba Gabbaaaaa!" and his favorite character is Muno, the red cyclops.  How do I know?  He smiles and squeals when he sees them, and then during the rest of the show he will "talk."  I will have to get out the video camera and record him doing it... its hilarious!

For those who haven't seen Yo Gabba Gabba before.... here's a clip from one of the episodes that James really liked:  the little green guy is Brobie and he's a little on the slow side (trust me, I've been doing my research... haha)

(....kill me now....)

Yo Gabba Gabba! (There's a Party in my Tummy !)
Uploaded by Materialiste. - Watch more comedy videos and sitcoms.

Greetings!

Instead of trolling various forums in order to discuss the news and personal reviews... and instead of trying to update and stay current with mulitiple networking sites, I've decided to create a blog--- a one stop place where I can post updates, give opinions, share pictures, and ramble about whatever else I have on my mind! I'm going to try to keep this updated as much as possible... so subscribe if you want!  Thanks for visiting!