Well, I survived...

... my first week of work as a career mommy!

Can I first start off by saying that I am amazed at how much time I wasted before I had a baby??  I can't believe that before I got pregnant I actually used to come to work and be tired and get the opportunity to come home and lounge around?!  What was I complaining about!!

My days now begin at 4:45 in the morning (i usually don't roll out of bed until 5 though).  I walk the dogs and then get myself ready and grab something to eat.  I wake James up at 6am, get him dressed and feed him, and then we are out the door by 6:45 so I can get to Amy's house by at least 7:15, and in my office by 7:30am.  Lunch is spent doing errands, and I get off work at 4:30, pick James up and get home around 5:00-5:30ish depending on traffic.  I give him a bath, and he gets an evening massage and bonding time after bath, then I feed him and we get to play until around 7:30pm when he gets tired for bed.  Then, I quickly scrounge up something for dinner or order out, make bottles for the next day, repack his diaper bag, get my clothes pressed and lunch made for work the next day... and finally get to sit down around 9:00 to relax.  I am usually in bed by 10:00 now so I won't be so tired the next day.  HOLY CRAP i used to have so much free time... those days are LONG gone!

I am actually surprised at how well I handled leaving him with the sitter, it was easy!  I broke down in the car on the 2nd day of dropping him off, but eased up on myself and told myself not to feel guilty.  I know he's in good hands and is having a nice day, and it makes me feel better that I am off doing my own thing at work and reclaiming some of my identity that got lost after having the baby.  I feel much more healthier, even after a week, because my days are spent so structured and productive.  I'm not very good at self motivation so when I was staying home with James it was very very hard to get a routine.  Now I'm forced in one and it makes me happy to have structure.

I was SOOO worried about whether or not I was making the right choice to go back to work or stay home with James, but I am so content with the choice I made!  I love working and I love my job... and I guess I felt guilty because I didn't know if that meant that I loved my job more than I love rearing my child... but I realized thats not the case.  I spend my days doing the job I love like I always did, the only difference now is that when I come home I have an entirely new role to play as a mother, and I love that just as much!!

I realized after staying home with James for 4 months, although nice and relaxing, ultimately made me lazy and crabby because I was cooped up and did not have a schedule and felt that the only thing I was all day was "mom."  Although I'm a mother now, I also have talents and knowledge that I enjoy pursuing and because I have a child that doesn't mean I should give those up.  I felt really really guilty at first, but I'm content with my decision now.  I hope it continues to go well from here!!

No pictures obviously, but it is a 3 day weekend and I'm behind 2 weeks of my Project 52, so hopefully I'll have some new pictures posted over the weekend!

For now, an lolcatz will have to suffice....  I thought this one was appropriate since I'm brining in my own paycheck now... Jacob doesn't have to worry about this pertaining to me anymore! :)

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Already apologizing...

I've only had this blog for a week now and I'm already apologizing for not keeping it updated!  For the past week I've been plagued with migraines, even spent my entire Friday in the ER begging for drugs to get rid of what was possibly the worst headache I've ever experienced in my life.  I had James with me, and he didn't make a peep the entire time we were there.  He is truly an amazing little baby.  I have an appointment to talk to the doctor about them tomorrow, hopefully to find the cause and maybe get on some preventatives.  I've had migraines since I was a child... however I've noticed ever since I've given birth they have been more frequent and more intense.  I will do ANYTHING to not get them anymore, they are horrible.

So... with that being said... I do not have any photo updates or really anything to blog about.  I start back to work tomorrow... I've been on maternity leave since September 2009 (I had over a month of leave saved and the federal government offers employees 12 weeks of unpaid job protected leave... so I took every bit of it!).  I've got those first day of school jitters!  I'm nervous about starting back, I've never been out of work for this long.  James will be going to Amy's (a friend of ours and also a certified child development home provider) so I feel really great about his situation during the day... but it is very hard letting him go.  I've truly enjoyed the time I was able to spend at home with him... but I'm looking forward to going back to work and getting out of the house.

I'll give an update on how my first week of work went, along with the prognosis of my migraines.  Cheers to all!  I feel the need to post a photo, so hows about a lolcatz to bring in the start of a new work week!  I have a feeling this is going to be my mood come tomorrow morning:

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addicted...

Ok, those last pictures of James turned out just too cute, so I needed to take more.  I'm addicted to seeing his little smile!!  He's almost grown out of this outfit, and he's never worn it... so I at least needed to take a picture of him in it before it's too late.  Still playing around with the settings on my camera and the available light in my house... I'm not having an easy time with focusing my lens or the color cast on his skin... post processing can only go so far.  I tried using a "reflector" today... it worked out nicely I think (not as much shadow as in my previous ones), considering I used my car window visors as my reflector... I just taped it to the chair James was sitting in!  Man, the things we think of when we're on a budget!! (but don't tell Jacob it worked out well, then I won't be able to justify going out and buying the real thing!) :)

Oh well, they aren't technically the most acceptable portraits... but I wanted to share these because I think he looks just so beautiful!  He must take after me.... (hahahahaha)

Thanks for lookin!

Srsly people????

My husband, God bless him, gives a car dealership back in South Carolina our real phone number instead of making up a bogus one!  He was doing this thing on USAA that finds the best deal on a certain make and model around a given zipcode.  I'm guessing it was required you list a telephone number... ok, thats fine... make one up!  Why?  Because those people are like vultures and will not stop calling until they get to speak to you about buying a car.  What's worse?  The idiot salesmen in South Carolina don't take into account that Guam is a different time zone!!  For the past 5 nights in a row we have been woken up by different numbers from the same area code, and they leave a message and John Smith from Honda in Easley would like to talk to us about our inquiry we submitted.  GRRR... next time give questionnaires like that a fake address/phone number... they say they don't solicit your number but they totally do!

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