Can I first start off by saying that I am amazed at how much time I wasted before I had a baby?? I can't believe that before I got pregnant I actually used to come to work and be tired and get the opportunity to come home and lounge around?! What was I complaining about!!
My days now begin at 4:45 in the morning (i usually don't roll out of bed until 5 though). I walk the dogs and then get myself ready and grab something to eat. I wake James up at 6am, get him dressed and feed him, and then we are out the door by 6:45 so I can get to Amy's house by at least 7:15, and in my office by 7:30am. Lunch is spent doing errands, and I get off work at 4:30, pick James up and get home around 5:00-5:30ish depending on traffic. I give him a bath, and he gets an evening massage and bonding time after bath, then I feed him and we get to play until around 7:30pm when he gets tired for bed. Then, I quickly scrounge up something for dinner or order out, make bottles for the next day, repack his diaper bag, get my clothes pressed and lunch made for work the next day... and finally get to sit down around 9:00 to relax. I am usually in bed by 10:00 now so I won't be so tired the next day. HOLY CRAP i used to have so much free time... those days are LONG gone!
I am actually surprised at how well I handled leaving him with the sitter, it was easy! I broke down in the car on the 2nd day of dropping him off, but eased up on myself and told myself not to feel guilty. I know he's in good hands and is having a nice day, and it makes me feel better that I am off doing my own thing at work and reclaiming some of my identity that got lost after having the baby. I feel much more healthier, even after a week, because my days are spent so structured and productive. I'm not very good at self motivation so when I was staying home with James it was very very hard to get a routine. Now I'm forced in one and it makes me happy to have structure.
I was SOOO worried about whether or not I was making the right choice to go back to work or stay home with James, but I am so content with the choice I made! I love working and I love my job... and I guess I felt guilty because I didn't know if that meant that I loved my job more than I love rearing my child... but I realized thats not the case. I spend my days doing the job I love like I always did, the only difference now is that when I come home I have an entirely new role to play as a mother, and I love that just as much!!
I realized after staying home with James for 4 months, although nice and relaxing, ultimately made me lazy and crabby because I was cooped up and did not have a schedule and felt that the only thing I was all day was "mom." Although I'm a mother now, I also have talents and knowledge that I enjoy pursuing and because I have a child that doesn't mean I should give those up. I felt really really guilty at first, but I'm content with my decision now. I hope it continues to go well from here!!
No pictures obviously, but it is a 3 day weekend and I'm behind 2 weeks of my Project 52, so hopefully I'll have some new pictures posted over the weekend!
For now, an lolcatz will have to suffice.... I thought this one was appropriate since I'm brining in my own paycheck now... Jacob doesn't have to worry about this pertaining to me anymore! :)
moar funny pictures
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